Hey Hey!
When I tell you crying in public is uncomfortable for me, I am massively down playing that! So to break down during my PT session was completely unexpected and very uncomfortable.
Thankfully I adore my PT Lauren, she held the space for me beautifully and just let me release what my body was so desperately needing to let go of in that moment. But I seriously wanted to get in my car and drive away as fast as I could.
I am a hugely private crier, and initially that may sound unhealthy because I talk A LOT about the importance of acknowledging feelings, so why would I be uncomfortable around someone seeing me cry, but up until a few years ago, well pretty much until I met Grange, I rarely cried!
I just didn't allow myself....although I didn't realise at the time that I was doing this, I just thought I wasn't a big crier.
Fast forward to the beginning of my healing journey and then meeting Grange, and the flood gates opened.....I realised that I actually had been suppressing my feelings for many many years, for various reasons, and it was only when I felt safe that the tears arrived.
The key word in all of that is feeling safe. Crying is a hugely vulnerable state for me (and many others) and in order to release I have to feel safe and that the environment within my control.
I don't like hugs when I cry unless I ask for them, and the natural response of many is to want to reach out and make it better.
Of course, crying and feeling safe to do so, is something we learn from a very young age (yep that's right I am gonna talk Inner child healing again!).
'Stop crying , or I will give you something to cry about!!'
'Get over it'
Common phrases said to kids over the years.
I remember being laughed at for crying at the TV show 'Lassie' many years ago.
Emotional intelligence, is a leaned skill and the beautiful news, is that if it hasn't been shown to us, we an go back and do the work for ourselves.
We can re-parent our inner child.....how cool is that!
So when I had my emotional release yesterday, I did just that. I reassured 'little Steph' that it was OK to cry and let go, and in doing that more tears came....and came and came.
Safe to say I was a little dehydrated yesterday 😉, but I felt better for letting it out.
Healing starts with feeling
I hope this gives you the opportunity today to consider how often you truly allow yourself to feel 💕
And if you want to get more in touch with your emotions and understand how to work with them rather than fight them (and ultimately blow up over something very trivial) come and join my online webinar here.
Steph xx
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